Dear Me, About Housekeeping …

“My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.” – Erma Bombeck

Dear Me,

OK, girl, here’s the thing; It is kind of important to keep on top of housework. Dishes should be done at the end of the meal – when it’s over – NOT at the beginning of the meal in order to have something to eat upon. Your children should not climb to the top of your laundry and start singing The Sound of Music. Vacuuming is not a seasonal activity.

You have two problems here:

1. You don’t notice the mess most of the time. You were not raised in a home where you witnessed routine baseboard polishing (BTW, the baseboards are wood strips at the bottom of the walls with itsy, bitsy ledges that collect dust and flung food). You don’t see that the tub has a ring around it since you use bubbles when the kids get a bath which floats above the scum line.
2. You really, really hate housecleaning. You don’t know why you do. As a matter of fact, you haven’t even admitted this to yourself yet. You just keep finding really good reasons to put it off. (Someday you will do this same thing with writing. Actually, in an interesting twist, you will often put off writing by stating to yourself that those baseboards could really use some attention).

Here’s what I’ve learned for you to help you out:
The best way to notice the mess in the house is to regularly invite people into it – especially if you have been to their home and they tend to keep it clean. It’s like magic; when you know company is coming, you see the mess. If you need to do deep spring cleaning, invite your mother-in-law.

Yes, you hate housecleaning, but not because it’s gross (I mean, by now you have caught Spaghetti-O vomit). You hate it because it is boring and redundant. Dishes, bathrooms, vacuuming, kitchen floors – there’s not much excitement in it. At least when you’re cooking, you are making different things, but housecleaning pretty much gets done the same way every time and it never ends. You like to keep your mind busy, so the tedium of cleaning is hell for you. Here are a few suggestions:

1. Time how long things take. Yes, unloading the dishwasher sucks, but I timed it once with the microwave and it only took 90 seconds. Knowing this made it a lot less daunting.
2. Go ahead and watch your favorite program, but every time there is a commercial, get up and work on a chore. The average commercial break is two minutes. If you are watching a 30 minute show, you can get 8 – 10 minutes of housework done. That’s a bathroom right there.
3. Get a book on CD. This works great. You can pick up a fiction book to escape a tough morning, or a non-fiction book to feel smart.

In the end, though, go easy on yourself. You have a dog, toddlers and a husband who are all working against you. Yes, having clean baseboards is ideal, but unless you catch the three year old running his tongue along it, let it go for now. With small kids, keep the most important bits the most important to do. These are the parts of the house that come into contact with the family the most: the kitchen, bathrooms, floor and laundry. If you dust or wash a window now and then, you’re amazing and deserve some ice cream.

General clutter is a separate issue. We’ll discuss that another time.

Love, Older Wiser You