Dear Me,
OK, Johnathan graduated from High School. This is the third consecutive year a kid of ours has done this. It’s painful, heart wrenching stuff to have a much loved child fly from the nest every year. I’m in mourning – and I blame you. So let’s attempt to change the future I am in by teaching you some new vocabulary words.
Spacing – \spā’sĭng\ In reference to breeding, an approach wherein the prospective parents decide how many months/years will exist between children. I have heard anywhere from three to five years is ideal. No one seems to recommend 14 months.
Plan – \plăn\ A scheme, program, or method worked out beforehand for the accomplishment of an objective. People who come up with a plan, for say, breeding, are referred to as planners. This is not a word that leaps to mind when friends think of you.
Birth Control – \bûrth kən-trōl’\ A scientific system that aides the couple in acquiring their planned number of children and their spacing. There are a variety of approaches. None of them are called the Rhythm Method (or as we refer to it in our house, Rug Rat Roulette).
Because you and Troy do not currently have these words in your vocabulary, you let God give you however many kids He wants to at whatever intervals strike His fancy.
- God: the guy who says early on in His handbook that He wants to populate the earth.
- You: the granddaughter of the woman who had eleven children in 19 years.
But you don’t even care, do you? You’re young and don’t know anything about the consequences of reckless breeding.
Well fine. Go crazy and ignore the products you put in the bed stand drawer. I get four great kids out of it who turn out to be pretty darn fun … and they’re there for each other all through school, which is nice. Actually, aside from being bone weary for years on end, there are a lot of benefits to having four in 4 ½ years.
But seriously? Three in diapers – twice?
Love, Older Wiser You
